The Monk's Tale The Autobiography of Phramaha Thanat Inthisan His life and practiced as "Tudong" novice in the deep  forest thruout  Northeast of Thailand

Childhood
 I was born in the region of northeastern Thailand known as Issan, in a small  village named Baan Pangkhwangtai of Sakon Nakorn province, and was raised in a typical farming family of that region. My family was very poor, with four brothers and five sisters and my mother. Unfortunately, my father passed away when I was 5 years old. When I was older I helped my family with the farm work by taking care of the cows and water buffaloes. I also learned to cook. While they worked in the rice fields, I stayed indoors and cooked for them. I cooked so often and gained so much experience that now I know how to prepare every Thai dish.

Turning Point
 My life would have continued in this way except for a significant event. When I was eight years old I became seriously ill and my mother placed me in the local hospital for care. I had a disease of the stomach, although I do not know the name in English. The doctor felt the best option was surgery, but my mother was very worried and frightened. I was young and very frail and she wasn’t sure I’d survive an operation. She pleaded with the doctor to find another method to cure me.
 My mother was distressed and fearful at leaving me in the hospital. On the way home, there was the Buddha statue has been set up under the Bodhi tree in front of the hospital building, she went before a Buddha statue and prayed for his help. She promised the Buddha that if I survived she would place me in a temple and have me ordained as a novice when I finished elementary school. She lit a candle and incense sticks before the Buddha statue, all the while truly believing that if she asked sincerely, the Buddha would really help her.

The Recovery
 Soon after that night my mother prayed to the Buddha, I recovered from my disease. I returned to finish elementary school, and graduated when I was eleven years old. The educational system in Thailand is different from the US. In Thailand, when students finish elementary school, they have the choice to continue with their education or to go on to something else. In my situation, my mother wanted to fulfill her promise and have me ordain as a novice and stay at the village temple. However, when I was eleven I was still too young to take care of myself, and wasn’t able to be away from my home and family. My mother thought I should wait until I turned fourteen to ordain as a novice, so I continued to work and help my family on the farm as much as I could.

The ordination
 When I turned fourteen my mother my relatives took me to Wat Srilumongala, the main temple in Sakon Nakorn province, which is about 9 km from my village. The ordination ceremony was quite simple and we didn’t waste money. Ordination for monks and novices differs. The ceremony for novices simply requires acceptance of ten precepts, however a monk must accept 227 rules with many chanting in the ceremony. During my time at the temple, in preparation for my ordination I practiced meditation, chanted, and repeated after the preceptor. At the time of my ordination, I requested ten precepts and the preceptor gave them to me. That was the entire ceremony, which wasn’t too long or complicated, and I was accepted as a novice.

My Life as a novice
 In Thailand there are at least one to three temples in every village. My family took me to the monastery in my hometown. There were about five other novices living there as well as two or three monks, and our own abbot who was the chief monk of the temple. The abbot was a very kind, calm man. He taught me how to bow down three times and to chant in the morning and evening. I learned these things and also how to perform Buddhist ceremonies.
 At about 5:30 a.m. we would hit the gong and rise. In Thailand monks receive food from villagers on their alms round. At 6:00 a.m. we would walk into the village and received food (rice, fruit, etc.) and return to the temple.  From 7:30-8:00 a.m. we ate breakfast, when devoted volunteers would come to serve our breakfast. After breakfast we studied the Buddha’s teaching and sutras from 8:30-10:30 a.m. We studied the Dhamma, forms of discipline, rules and regulations for monks and novices, and the life of the Buddha.
 I was truly inspired and impressed when I read about the life of the Buddha. The Buddha’s life was one of sacrifice and devotion, having once lived in a palace in a life of luxury, leaving it behind to search for truth. For six years he stayed in the forest and meditated until the moment he reached enlightenment. I was very impressed. I thought if I had the opportunity I would study more and practice more. I wanted to learn even more of Buddha’s life.

Back to Lay Life
 My days as a novice were coming to an end. When my mother asked the Buddha for help she promised to ordain me for only seven days, afterwards disrobing to become a layperson again. My ordination was also fulfilling the Thai custom of male members of a family ordaining as novices at least once in their lives. My seven days in the monastery were drawing to a close.
 My novice friends at the temple pleaded with me to stay longer. In those seven days I had learned a lot about meditation and the life of the Buddha, and I wanted to learn even more. When I returned home, I asked my mother if I could stay longer, and she said, “Okay, up to you, if you can stay longer I would be very happy”.
 From that moment on I studied every sutra and every aspect of each function of Buddhist ceremonies in the temple. I stayed during the Phansa, or rains retreat which lasts for three months. (This year, 2001, it takes place from July to October.) Phansa is a time for serious and intense practice in the monastery, when novices and monks study together and practice meditation all day. Experiencing that first Phansa made my mind very calm, cool, and clean, and I really liked that state of mind.

A New Beginning
 I truly enjoyed being a novice in the monastery. When I had been there a year, we received a visitor who was to have a profound influence on my life. He was an old monk from a neighboring province coming to visit my teacher, or Achan. When the old monk met me he said, “This novice has a special gift. If he is well-trained he shall be a good monk.” I asked him how I could be a good monk as he said. His answer was to go with him to the forest where I could train my mind. The old monk felt this was a good opportunity for me. He felt it was much easier to teach those who are young, because their minds are pure and uncluttered. When people grow up there are many distractions to cloud their minds. A young boy’s mind is very clean, very soft, and easy to train. After my year’s education at the village monastery, I agreed to go with him to the forest. However, there was one thing that worried me, that really scared me. I told the old monk that I was afraid of ghosts.
 He asked, ”Where are the ghosts?” “I don’t know,” I responded, ”but at night I’m very, very scared.” ”That’s because you’re afraid of the dark, not of ghosts.”

Stories
 When I was a young boy my mother would tell ghost stories before I went to bed. Every night she would tell me ghost stories or folk beliefs. I liked to read and listen to them, but I was afraid when I was by myself. When my Achan asked me to stay with him in the monastery, I was especially afraid because the forest monastery was close to the cremation area. In Thailand 95 percent of the people are Buddhist, and in Buddhist tradition, when someone dies they are cremated at the cemetery. My Achan, or teacher, sent me to spend a night at the cremation spot nearby. Naturally, I was very frightened. The events of that night were influential in my life and practice.
 Someone in the village had died and was to be cremated the night I was to stay there. Late that afternoon my teacher took me to the area and set up an umbrella and mosquito net for me to sit inside, next to the burning pile of wood. At about 4:00 p.m. the villagers put the body on the wood pyre and lit it. Afterward the remains would be returned to the family.

Panna and The Dhamma
 As the cremation began, my teacher left me, instructing me to stay there and that I could not leave. I cried and sat with my eyes closed. My teacher said that scary things only come from your eyes, your ears, your tongue, your body, and your mind. At the time, I didn’t understand what he meant. Then I experienced for myself what the Buddha said, that Panna, or wisdom, will arise when you face the problem--when you seek the way to solve your problem.
 I opened my eyes and saw the corpse in the firewood. It was burning right in front of me. I closed my eyes and I smelled the burning flesh with my nose. I listened with my ears; the dog barking outside and the birds chirping in the forest. Oh my Buddha, I was very, very scared. Frightening things came from every direction towards me. My teacher said when you see something, just see it; hear something, just hear it; smell something, just smell it; and if you touch something, just touch it.   Also, if you think about something, just allow your mind to contact it and let it go.

Dhamma
 I thought, this is the Dhamma, the Buddha’s teaching. This is the supreme teaching because what the Buddha experienced at the time of his enlightenment were the very things I was experiencing. I thought I must have truly learned from the stories of Buddha and the Buddha’s life and philosophy. I understood what he meant by “mara,” or suffering, as the enemy inside; and Kilesas, or defilements, be they greed, hatred, delusion, fear, worry, attachment, craving, aversion and anger-- everything inside. When I faced my fear, Panna, or wisdom, arose.
 As I thought about the dead body in front of me, I realized it was merely the combination of the four elements—earth, wind, water and fire. I also realized there is no soul nor mind in the dead body. It’s just like wood in the forest. As the fire burned and burned I saw that nothing is permanent. I thought, if everything is impermanent, then why am I afraid? I asked myself that question and I found that fear comes from the mind--from my mind. If I could stop my thinking, or my mind, then I could stop the fear.
 I simply closed my eyes so that I couldn’t see the dead form, to stop the form from controlling my eyes. When I heard something, I wouldn’t cling to the sound. I simply listened and let it go. I didn’t create any scary things in my mind. The sounds of birds and dogs were just sounds.

Alarm…. / Or “Footsteps”
 I sat until 11 p.m. with my eyes closed, “watching” my breathing, in and out. My mind was firm and very, very settled. I was very calm and cool. Then I heard footsteps. The sound came towards me. I thought it must be either my teacher or a ghost. I closed my eyes and listened. While I sat there, I decided if someone wanted my life, then my life would be devoted to that person. Also, if something, man or animal, wanted my life, it would still be my friend. I wasn’t afraid at that time. If a tiger or other animal wanted my life, I was willing to devote it to them. With that mindset, I defeated my fear.
When the footsteps stopped in front of me I opened my eyes. It was my teacher. He asked, “How’re you doing? Did the ghosts come and kill you?”
 I said, “No Acharn, not at all.”
 “Did you see the ghosts?”
 “No.”
 “What did you see?”
 “Oh, I just saw the fire burning the corpse.”
 “Did she walk to you?” he asked.
 “No.”
 Something happened in the firewood when it burned. It was a very high pile of wood and the corpse fell from it. My teacher then said, “Okay, come and let’s take a closer look.”
 He took me to where the dead body had fallen and said, “Help me to pick it up and put it back in the pile” We took two long pieces of bamboo and placed them at each side of the body. We then picked up the body with the sticks and put it back in the fire. Then he asked, “Do you want to stay here or do you want to go back to the shelter?”
 I said, ”Whatever you wish Acharn. If you want me to stay here then that’s okay.” He let me stay in the cremation area until morning. That night I sat in meditation and made some realizations about life, my insight, my situation, and the Dhamma of the Buddha appeared in my mind very clearly. I overcame my fear.

 Loving Kindness
 As I accompanied my teacher, sometimes it would be necessary to stay in a cave or in the wild, often it was frightening. He told me there’s one thing I should know, that my only weapon to protect myself, my life, would be the Dhamma, the teaching--that is, compassion. He said,” before you go to bed, you must spread loving kindness to animals, to human beings, to every creature in the world. You must do this with your soft and firm mind. If you practice more your mind will be clean, clear, and calm. You will see everything as it really is that’s inside of you. You will spread loving kindness, and your compassionate mind will even find its way to the mind of animals. Wild animals will either go away or may choose to be your friend.”
 I did as he taught and no harm came to me, nor was I threatened in any way. When I went into the forest and encountered an animal I would remain gentle and it would run away—or be my friend.
 
 

Conclusion
 I was a forest novice for six years from the age fourteen. I returned to my village temple to continue with traditional education. However, I still visited my teacher three months out of the year, living in the forest, studying and practicing with him and until it was time to return to Bangkok to continue my studies at a Buddhist University there.
 When I was twenty years old I was promoted to a higher ordination to be ordained a monk. Some of my friends had disrobed for three to seven days before entering the monkhood, however, I have never disrobed. After I got higher ordination as a monk, I spent my life in different temple to study Dhamma and the Pali language and did a lot of propagation works. Then, I went directly to the Mahachulalongkornrajavidhayalaya Buddhist University in Bangkok and studied for a B.A. in Education and Buddhist Studies.

A Missionary work in overseas
 In 1992, the Buddhist Association of Washington D.C., (Wat Thai Washington, D.C.) which serves the Thai community, invited me to serve in the United States. I’ve stayed at Wat Thai D.C. since then, returning to Thailand every two years to “recharge my batteries.” I feel I must return to the forest to restore my mind. Sometimes monks are asked to act as a sort of psychiatrist when visitors to the temple ask advice about their problems. As the monks receive and take in the problems of the visitors, a sort of mental “toxic” residue remains. I like to return to the forest to refresh my mind. This year (2001) I went to India, Sri Lanka, Sikkim, Darjeeling and Himalayan Mountain (in India).  I learned new things and returned to teach the people in Wat Thai D.C. and to practice. This is my life, which I’ve enjoyed for twenty two years until the present. Thank you.